Crocodiles Can Do What Now?!?

Crocodiles Can Do What Now?!?

I heard about this on “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me” a few weeks ago. When I heard the story I said to myself, “They have got to be kidding!”

Turns out “they” were not. There are studies and photographic evidence to back this up! This throwback to the cretaceous period has gone ninja and can now climb trees.
It’s not bad enough that their jaws can snap our bones like twigs, and that they can hold their breath for a really long time underwater. Now they can ambush us from above?

Thank God they can’t fly!

Now there’s an even better reason to keep your eyes open at all times when visiting Florida.

And you thought a bird pooping on you was bad.

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How Do We Stop an Asteroid?

If what had happened in Russia, happened here in the States, (https://www.google.com/webhp?tab=ww&ei=2P0GU8qjMarr0AHhtoCQCQ&ved=0CBgQ1S4#q=chelyabinsk+meteor) we would be taking this a lot more seriously. As it is now we, as in humans, don’t seem to think that it’s a huge problem.

But that’s only because we can’t see it. Out of sight out of mind.

Unfortunately, if we wait until we can actually see this problem coming, it’ll be too late to do something about it.

We All Work

While some people may call this rap, technically it’s hip-hop. What’s the difference you ask? Listen to this and it will become very evident what the difference is between what you see and hear in this video and what you hear on the radio.

Even if you hate all rap, please do yourself a favor and watch this video.

You will love this song. I Guarantee it.

Feel free to leave me disparaging and insulting comments if you don’t feel uplifted or inspired after watching this video.

PARAPROSDOKIANS! My 138th useless word of the day!

Pretty much everyone has run into a paraprosdokian without knowing it. Myself included! A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and frequently humorous.  Such as these fine examples. Enjoy!!

1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, Notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR’.

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to sky dive. You only need a parachute to sky dive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure..

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I’m supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one.